


Lovers Leap

by Denois



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Discussion of suicidal ideation, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Nursey POV, mention of major depression, mention of past suicide attempts, mention of suicide in folklore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:09:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17207489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denois/pseuds/Denois
Summary: Nursey is visiting Dex's hometown when Dex takes him up to a scenic overlook called Lovers Leap by the locals. Nursey thought they were just going to enjoy the scenery, but Dex had other plans in mind.TW: mention of major depression, discussion of suicidal ideation, mention of past suicide attempts, mention of suicide in folklore.Please do not read this fic if these will trigger you.





	Lovers Leap

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [Draskireis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/draskireis) for the beta.
> 
> TW: mention of major depression, discussion of suicidal ideation, mention of past suicide attempts, mention of suicide in folklore.

Nursey looked out from the cliff, watching how the ocean seemed to stretch forever in front of him. “It’s beautiful, Dexy.” 

Dex stood beside him, hands bunched in his pockets and shoulders hunched. “Yeah. I always thought so. A good last view.”

Nursey’s laugh died on his lips when he realized Dex wasn’t laughing with him. “Did you bring me up here to push me off?” He was joking, but he still took a step back from the flimsy rail. 

“Nah. Just to take a bit of a leap.” He paused, still focused on the horizon.

Nursey reached out tentatively and pulled him back a few steps also. 

“I used to think about this place all the time. Town legend says that way back, I don’t know, a hundred years ago? Anyway, back then, there was this couple, and they couldn’t be together, their families wouldn’t have it. He was poor, she was rich. He was white, she was black. They were both boys. They were both girls. The story changes, depending who you ask. Nothing in the newspaper archives, so I don’t think it really happened. But legend says one of the star crossed lovers was chased up here by the family of the other, and in the dark and snow, slipped over the edge and died. Then a week later, unable to live without their love, the other jumped after.” Dex shrugged. “All towns with cliffs probably have a legend like that.”

Nursey made a noise in his throat. He wasn’t sure if it was in agreement that towns had similar stories or to encourage Dex to continue. All he knew was that he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Dex’s profile as he stared across the water. Dex didn’t continue and Nursey tried to find the right words. When his voice came, it was just a whisper. “You thought about this place? About jumping?”

Dex laughed, a harsh, cruel sound. “Men don’t commit suicide. People that can’t stand up to their responsibilities commit suicide. Suicide is the cowards way. Good honest men like the Poindexters just deal with life and get over it.” 

The words were clearly not Dex’s. The voice wasn’t even Dex’s normal voice and the way that Dex sneered while he spoke gave clear indication of what he thought about the sentiment, but it still made Nursey recoil slightly. Dex knew his history. Dex knew about the therapy and the attempts. Dex had never said those words to him then.

“No. I never considered suicide. But I thought about driving too fast, hitting a patch of ice, not being able to control the car on the turn. Or maybe it would be gravel in the summer. An accident. Just lost control of the vehicle.” Dex snorted.

“You’re the safest driver I know.”

Dex’s head tilt was minuscule. “I wouldn’t have been the first safe driver, not even the first in my graduating class. If not this curve, then one of the others around town. We’ve got a lot of cliffs.”

Nursey looked down at the ground. “Why’d you decide not to?” 

It was an invasive question, and maybe he didn’t have a right to know. But when he’d told Dex about his past, Dex had asked what made him hold on, all the times he thought and didn’t attempt. And thinking about those things had helped, sometimes. 

Every once in awhile, especially when Nursey’d been having a rough few days, Dex would ask him what he was holding onto, what was good in his life. Usually, Dex just nodded in reply. But after those times, new things would become normal. Dex would make him breakfast, even if he wasn’t cooking for the whole Haus, even when Dex didn’t have class for another two hours and could have slept in. Dex got him coffee and waited outside his class at 11. Dex pointed out cardinals and other interesting birds when they sat by the Pond. 

Dex cared, and it helped. All the little things, therapy and medication and hockey...they helped. And he wanted to help Dex too. To show Dex he cared, too.

It took a long time before Dex answered, and Nursey had started to think that he wouldn’t. “My grandmother died.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Nursey wasn’t sure what he was meant to say. He didn’t think that Dex meant recently.

“Do you know how much funerals cost? With everything, the hearse, the casket, the plot, flowers, the freaking meal for the wake, it’s like ten grand. My uncles and dad all pitched in together and I still overheard my ma ask if not claiming the body was an option. Let the state bury her. But leaving family in an unmarked grave?” Dex shook his head. “I was mostly done growing by then. I made do with old gear and ma and dad both took extra shifts. We got through. She had insurance. It covered her outstanding bills, and that was it.”

Dex shook his head again and frowned at the sky. 

“Didn’t have medical insurance until Samwell. Trying and failing would be worse. So yeah. Thought about it. Never did it.”

Nursey swallowed as Dex turned and looked at him. 

“I wanted you to know. About me. I want you to know, I’m glad I didn’t. And I’m glad you survived. Because I’m glad I know you. And I’m glad we’re friends.”

“I’m glad too, Dexy.” Nursey tried to smile and lighten the mood, but Dex just pressed his eyes closed and shook his head again.

“Every day, I feel like I’m on the edge of this cliff, and I can just take one step--and maybe I could fly. But maybe I’d just crash on the rocks.”

Nursey tilted his head at Dex’s words. He was being uncharacteristically poetic. And he’d said he was going to take a leap, then told a story about star crossed lovers. Maybe Nursey was getting this wrong, but it seemed to add up in his mind.

He reached out and pulled Dex’s arm, stepping in close until they were right against each other. He shifted his arm to wrap around Dex’s waist and then let his nose brush against Dex’s cheek for a moment before breathing a whisper into his ear. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Dex’s response was a sigh, and all Nursey needed to shift and slide his lips over Dex’s, which parted easily, inviting him in yet again. Nurse ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of Dex’s neck, using his hand at Dex’s waist to pull him in even closer. Leaping off the cliff together and flying. Metaphorically.

After a minute or so, Nursey pulled away, resting his forehead against Dex’s. “We’re both a bit fucked up. But we’re both getting better. And I’m glad we’re both still here, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696  
> Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433  
> LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255  
> Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386  
> Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743  
> Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438  
> Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673  
> Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272  
> Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000  
> Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253  
> Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453  
> UK Helplines:  
> Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org  
> Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111  
> Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk  
> Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk  
> b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk  
> b-eat youthline (for under 25's with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)  
> Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk  
> Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600  
> Drinkline: 0800 9178282  
> Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk  
> Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight  
> India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614  
> India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669  
> Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7  
> suicide hotlines;  
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> (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)  
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> Ukraine: 0487-327715


End file.
